This past weekend, I spent two and a half days in the Russian River Valley of California. Friday afternoon, we arrived at the Mediterranean villa where we would spend the weekend and found it secluded at the top of a very steep hill and complete with a heated pool. Luxurious, no? Then, we made it into town for our 5:30 p.m. reservation at a two-Michelin star restaurant. After canapés and champagne, we chose between an eight-course or five-course meal, and of course, the wine pairing was optional. So if you know me, you know I didn’t hold anything back. I even added the black truffle to the chicken course for an additional $12 or something like that. When you are spending that much money on dinner, you don’t worry about the price of the black truffle addition. (You do worry about the fact that, for your daughter’s upcoming birthday, you will need to get creative about what we are serving the guests, and I mean creative in the Cousin Eddie sort of way.) I can’t pick a favorite course, but my favorite part of the night was when the waiter said, “And for your first dessert…” Aaaawww, yeah! (Already working on the redneck thing.)

On Saturday, we hired a driver to cater to our every whim for six hours of wine tastings. If you have never been to wine country or at least the Russian River Valley, a driver is a must. The road on which the seven or eight wineries we visited sit is extremely narrow and winding. After seven or eight (I really can’t remember which) wine tastings, you do not want to be driving this road to the top of the hill where your heated pool and Mediterranean villa await.

I do remember my favorite winery of the day. It was a quaint little place that could barely hold us five crazy women. Their wines are only available on site, and I brought home a wonderful Voignier. This sweet guy guards the door of Porter Creek:

And this Texas girl who does not drink wine cannot wait to go back and visit him.

Two weeks ago, we hired a friend to paint our living room, dining room, and atrium. It was taking longer than he expected, and he planned on finishing up the Tuesday before the party. Sure, no problem, plenty of time to get things back into place.

Tuesday, I was picked to serve on a jury, expected to last through Friday. Well, that’s just great. I was counting on using Friday, my beautiful 9/80 Friday, to get my house in order and spend some time with my best friend before the party. Still, no problem, we can do this.

Friday, our deep-freeze packed full of processed deer meat and one lovely deer head stopped working. I didn’t notice it when I left the house at 7:30 a.m., but I sure as hell noticed it when I pulled in at 5:30 p.m. Gah, the stench! But what could I do? I still needed to pick up The Kitten at Gramma’s, and The Tomcat was still in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. (Actually what I think happened is my wonderful husband left the door open when he took ice out for his deep sea fishing trip at 4:00 a.m., but he will never admit that to me.) When he finally got home, the Clorox and Lysol treatment on the freezer and the floor started and lasted all day Saturday. We encouraged people to avoid the garage during the party, and we are still afraid to open the freezer door.

Even with all this conspiring against us, we managed to have a fun-filled party on Saturday night. Only one thing is missing, and one thing in the house is broken…miniscule in the grand scheme of things. And I was able to blame my hangover on a severe sinus attack. That’s not wrong at all; that’s just right.

In January, I committed to 60 days of Insanity (you know, that Sean T. Beachbody workout?), so that I could fit in my rodeo jeans. Of course, I didn’t do 60 days since rodeo season kicks in around the last week of February, but I got back in the jeans and received a ton of compliments on my semi-rockin’ bod. For the past month and a half, I’ve been trying to get back on my regular Insanity routine, while my body has been slowing moving southward again, and I was almost there when a huge project landed in my lap.

I’m trying to turn this into this before the bout. Throw in a couple of family birthdays, Mother’s Day, setting up summer tutoring for The Kitten, and coordinating some home renovations, and when do I have time to workout? Maybe after I get back from my third business trip this year the third week of May?

I think the only opportunity to flex some flab over the next week will be an intro to pole dancing class on Monday, and only because I’ve already paid my $40.

It’s not gray. It’s the fucking lighting. So bite me, 40.

This is the cake that my mommy bakes for me every year. I hope my mommy keeps doing it for at least another ten years.

I almost died from excitement when I found out somebody else paid for me to drive a race car. Yessss! Best gift from my husband EVER (other than the ring, of course)!!!

Like I said, bite me, 40!

BTW, we won by like 150 points or something like that. I promised myself not to get caught up in that this time; I’m just doing it because I can, not because I’m trying to prove anything. Although it was nice to have two 18-point jams in one night.

Tonight, I’m starting on my first celebratory weekend. It won’t be as good as last year’s first weekend, but I get to see one of my favorite bands with my favorite sister (okay, my one and only sister, but she’s bad-ass like me). Then, tomorrow night, I get to scout out the team I’ll be skating against next month.

Good friends, good music, good hits for bad bitches….awww yeah!

• Good Friday - My 9/80 and The Kitten is looking forward to Iowa Tests being over…girls’ day of fun!
• Easter – My 12th wedding anniversary…good way to get out of celebrating it.
• April 5th - A short trip to California…Trader Joe’s is calling my name; that and a presentation on Lessons Learned (ick!)
• April 10th - My first bout this season with Crude City Roller Derby…yes, I’m on the roster of a league that is four hours away; come be a fool and watch me!
• April 16th - The day I should be going to the Tiki Bar opening in Maryland again but am instead being a good wife and mother for a change…boo sauce!
• April 21st - The day I was born, 40 years ago…and no, there will not be a party because somebody expects me to send the invitations, clean the house, buy the food and drinks, act as a hostess, etc. (Bite me!)

Now remind me why I’m not going to the Tiki Bar again. Happy April anyway! Usually the best month of the year, but this one has only a couple of bright spots.

BTW…I will be skating in Houston (against Houston Roller Derby) in May. This is not a joke…more info to come. This Cat just won’t die, and maybe there’s still breath in Catazonia yet.

Oh, and I’m doing NaPoWriMo again!

No, that’s the real April Fool’s joke.

What I am going to harp on is that fact that it’s socially acceptable to maintain a wishlist nowadays. Get your butt online and start one. Check out this helpful post on Lifehacker for some top wishlist tools. A wishlist not only makes life easier for your socially-inept loved ones, it also organizes your own thoughts. I would never be able to keep track of what The Kitten wants for Christmas if I didn’t rush to Amazon everytime her eyes widen.

By the way, if you haven’t been using a reader to follow interesting blogs like Lifehacker, you really are living in the dark ages. Haven’t you heard that blogs are dying a slow, painful death? Oh, wait, that’s just mine.

Yesterday, the officer asked for my license without any hint of friendliness. Today, I smiled widely and and asked him “How are you doing today?” He just shook his head. I told him “I never wear it” (I don’t believe it should be against the law, and I certainly don’t believe that people should be pulled over only for not wearing seatbelts). He wrote that it in the comments on the ticket. Huh?

Today, he tried to walk off without being friendly again. I said, “See you tomorrow!” Then he actually smiled. Surprise, surprise…he gave me a tip. Tomorrow, he will be at the Valero on Memorial writing tickets for blocking the intersection instead of chasing people down Memorial for not wearing a seatbelt. I told him “Well, I never do that!”

(Oh, and I lied about never wearing a seatbelt. My daughter usually makes me when she’s in the car. For the record, that’s three seatbelt tickets this year…I wonder if I can start a fund during open enrollment to help pay for these?…a small price to pay for libertarianism.)

Just wanted to share that mainly because I couldn’t make an entire post about the fact that I got a REAL comment today on my last post that was over a month ago. (Update on my last post: waiting till October 1st!).