First of all, we all know I’m a horrible person. I hit people I don’t know, I make fun of coworkers, and I just have a bad attitude in general. Yet, I have never, ever, ever thought that The Kitten was not the most beautiful, funniest, and smartest girl in the world. Until she brought home her first report card…

The Kitten got an N (needs improvement) in “Recognizes letters and letter sounds.” When I saw that, all the doubts surfaced. She won’t be just like me; she’ll fail Senior English just like her dad. She’ll have to study instead of forgetting there’s a test and still making a B. And if she’s below average in academics, then she might be below average in athletics, too. Oh, please Lord, just let her look like her dad and not take after him in everything!!! All those negative thoughts raced through my head.

Then I remembered that the one thing I promised myself not to be a horrible person about is the most beautiful, funniest, smartest girl in the world. So I help her with the letters as much as I can without either one of us getting discouraged, and I keep on telling her she’s the most beautiful, funniest, and smartest girl in the world.

October has been a CRAZY BUSY month for me.

I began the month by skating in my last derby bout. In the first of three bouts in two days, I was tripped and took it directly on my right knee (the one that already had problems). At least I pushed their jammer all the way to the middle of the infield with three of their blockers on me right before this happened. You can watch the whole bout if you want. Such a shame opponents must resort to cheating to stop me. Still, I can’t believe I could get a pad over my knee to skate the other two bouts. Isn’t it symbolic, don’t you think?

A week or so later, I saw a legend from the front row, thanks to a derby girl who I’m proud to call a friend also. You couldn’t ask for a better front (or back, or only two) of your pack. We’ve been through it all!

Then, I went to the Corral Club Halloween Party, two days before the derby awards party, and wore the same thing to each. Hmm, maybe that’s why I went to both alone…it couldn’t be because I’m a nasty dancer…no way. (Image is blurred to protect the innocent, or because I had to steal it from Facebook on my BlackBerry…whatever you prefer.)

Last weekend, I acted like a giddy schoolgirl on the front row of another concert, this time with my sister who took some great pictures. I think I’m going to have to fight her for his sweat towel that I practically jumped up on the stage to steal. You can’t ignore me, Rick!

And all these things don’t even begin to list all the fun I had in October! Tonight, The Kitten will get to show off her costume to the grandparents she invited over for Halloween almost two months ago. Tomorrow, I can start a much more relaxed month. Unless somebody wants to go to the Ren Faire with me?

I have been a big fan of rodeoing for many years, which is really strange since I’m not a big fan of cows or horses. I guess I admire the extreme sport aspect of it all. Understandable. Then I saw an extended family member compete in the calf scramble last night.

My husband’s cousin’s son (what is that? like once removed or something? maybe I should use my skills and look that up?) enters a cow into the livestock show every year, but this year, he had a chance to win a calf he could bring back to show next year. He lined up about a half a foot shorter than the sixteen other boys and eleven girls, but he looked strong out of the gate. Within seconds, he tackled a calf, but the calf flipped around and took off. All the while, I’m jumping up and down, screaming, and trying to keep The Kitten informed on what was actually happening. It was the most exciting thing I have ever seen at a rodeo!

Our cousin kept running until the last calf was caught, and even though he wasn’t one of the fourteen who caught a calf, he’s still a winner to us. It made me even that much prouder to be a part of something that does good things for so many kids. Maybe that’s the real reason why I’m such a big fan.

You Know You Want One

Originally uploaded by Catazon.

They’re going fast!

If the creamy white one is a girl, we will keep it with her mother, Foola. The Kitten has already named it Beautiful Sparkly.

The gray one with the stripe down its back is adorable, the two tan ones have red eyes, and one of the oreos likes to make squealing noises.

We love ‘em, but we can’t keep ‘em.

Every day can be like Christmas if you give the gift that keeps on giving. (And I say that sarcastically.)

Santa brought The Kitten a hamster. Actually, Santa put a hamster house under the tree, and Mommy took The Kitten to the mall to pick out a hamster. We decided on a white hamster with a gray face. She was a very skinny girl who didn’t get that much bigger in the past week. So how did she pop out five more hamsters yesterday afternoon? Hmmm…

Guess that untimely death I was already scheming up will have to wait a few weeks.

So you get another cat picture.

I give you two cats (or parts thereof) for the price of one. Catazon and The Kitten dream of a purple Christmas while decorating their Brawler Christmas tree. Now that’s the holiday spirit!

We had another backyard-destroying blowout to mark four years of fun with The Kitten. She requested water balloons to celebrate the occasion. I think she and her cousins and a few close friends went through 400 of them.

The Kitten also wowed all party-goers with a preview of her gold-medal performance in the Steeplechase for the 2024 Summer Olympics.

A hasty retreat from water balloons

Originally uploaded by MzMo.

Five reasons why Central Texas is heaven on earth:

1. my favorite barbecue establishment
2. my favorite place for queso and CHEAP margaritas
3. my favorite place for a nice view and EXPENSIVE margaritas
4. the birthplace of modern-day roller derby
5. my favorite place to just BE in the whole wide world

None of these places will be visited on my trip to Central Texas this weekend; therefore, I might as well be in hell! I will be staying in a farmhouse built in the 1930’s or 40’s (I can’t remember, but I know it was a long, stinky-ass time ago). I will have to share a bathroom with my in-laws. I will be surrounded by country folk that didn’t understand why I kept playing tackle football after I broke myself, so they most certainly can’t understand why I keep “rollerblading” after breaking myself again. I will be forced to eat vegetables with the yummy bonus flavor of bacon, if there is any room for vegetables at all. I will miss two derby practices. I can’t wait to get back home to start on all the things I should have been doing this weekend to prepare for The Kitten’s 4th birthday next week.

The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. ~ John Milton

The Kitten thinks the things that make noise in hula hoops are roly-polies. She gets mad when I call them doodlebugs. I never knew their real name until I looked them up today.

So I clicked on the Family category, and my last post was in December. Really? December?

So then I decided that I better start documenting cute things that The Kitten does or says or I won’t have any stories to embarrass her with when she’s a teenager. And what better place to do it than the place where I said I was going to talk about my family?

So here goes…The Kitten calls Play-Doh tomato. Don’t know why, because she can’t (or won’t) explain. Confusing, but very cute.

Something else funny about that…when you type Playdoh, spell check suggests Playboy and Playtex. Nice.