Stress will be a fact of life the week before the party, until you can drink it away the night of the party.

On Monday, the guest of honor will still be hemming and hawing over the menu. That’s ok, because you’re still not sure if you have to feed forty or fifty or even more.

On Tuesday, you will start the day by throwing out your neck…the same neck problem you have had since a crazy night in New Orleans in 2005. You still don’t know what it is, and at the moment, you definitely don’t have time to find out, although it would be nice to refresh your stash of painkillers.

On Wednesday, you will discover a water leak in your dining room ceiling. Thank God the pipe was right next to a light fixture, so the water dripped immediately instead of pooling for days. Later that day, you will have your annual performance review. Good luck!

On Thursday, you will have to go to dinner with your boss. Actually not a stressful situation, but you should be home doing a test run on the last minute request for butterscotch cake. Even though it might look like a pile of poo on Saturday, you’re still pretty sure it will taste totally awesome (it’s an 80’s party).

You’re not going to think about Friday yet. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Ah man, I was supposed to post about week 8 of the health program, but this week is already crazy at work, and I’m still working on the husband’s birthday bash, 80’s style. All I have to say is the three pairs of pants I bought when I started my new job are too baggy now, and we are consolidating the last four weeks into two. Only two more meetings!

So I’m over halfway through with this cardiovascular health kick, except the thing is I’ll never be through with it. Yesterday, the food served at the family birthday gathering was fried fish, fried chicken, and tater tots. Blegh. Even before the health kick, I would not let any of these things near my mouth, so lucky for me, there was also a green salad. And get this…the salad bowl was the only thing even close to being empty…and no, it wasn’t only me eating it. I was also able to bypass the German chocolate cake…a true feat, because I do love coconut but most likely will never knowingly let that artery-clogging mess into my stomach again. Too sad, but totally worth it…

Meanwhile, my marriage grows slightly weirder with my husband doing the complaining about being fat. He still refuses to listen to me about anything, so he finally outweighs me for realz!!! Woohoo! Ladies, if you get the chance to experience how annoying your significant other can be saying how they need to lose weight but doing nothing about it, you would never complain about how fat you are again.

Catazon’s Week 7 of the Cardiovascular Health Program:
Weight = 187.2
Anxiety Level = 5 (I’ve got no motivation, and I stress about no motivation.)

This is a true Amazon! The thing is she SHOULD be able to dunk and rack up the triple-doubles…she’s a foot taller than most other girls. What is truly impressive is, from the looks of the video, she knows how to assist as well. I remember I had a real problem giving up the ball whenever I touched it. Imagine that. I had to work on my triple-doubles in points, rebounds, and blocks, and I was only a half a foot taller than most other girls.

It’s the second Monday in January, and every year, I look forward to 10 a.m. CST on the second Monday in January. This year was a disappointment, to say the least. What was supposed to be a great year as a rookie captain has turned into this mostly unforgettable work lineup for the 2009 rodeo: Alan Jackson, Trace Adkins, Toby Keith, Clint Black, Darius Rucker, Pat Green, and ZZ Top.

It does get better as the month progresses. I heard Darius was great at the Ten Man Jam, but in the big ol’ Reliant Stadium? Nuh-uh. I will never get sick of Pat Green, and ZZ Top is a classic, but overall, pitiful. Thank God I don’t have to suffer through Reba McEntire or Brooks & Dunn.

In other news, as I’m sure you are all wondering, I got back on track with the cardio program (still not calling it a diet especially since I’m not losing weight) last week when I met with my mentor for the first time in three weeks. Christmas wasn’t too bad, but the week after did some damage. Tamales and Greyhounds…not together…but I’m blaming it on the both of them.

Catazon’s Week 6 of the Cardiovascular Health Program:
Weight = 189.4
Anxiety Level = 8 (trying to meet deadlines and the realization that I dug myself into a hole)