Great news from the hard-working IT guy at my dysfunctional workplace:

I hope this is cool with you.

Since our budget being very tight this year, I am regretfully to tell you that your blackberry will be collected so we can distribute it to our new Financial Aid Director. As soon as I have more access to blackberry, I will make sure to hand you one.

Thanks for understanding.

Doesn’t matter that I told the grammatically-challenged boy wonder that I didn’t want the damn thing in the first place. The only thing I understand is this place sucks.

Catazon Hits Rebel Ann

Originally uploaded by Zeeev.

No Bosse$ were harmed in the making of this photo. In fact, the Boss on her way to the floor claims that this was her favorite moment of the bout.

Ziv! This is one of the most beautiful derby pics I have ever seen, and not just because I’m in it.

In 2008, the Brawlers are headed to the bottom of the barrel again. We’ve already lost to the two best teams in HRD. This Sunday, we were only down by eleven at halftime against the Bosse$, but we let them keep their same scoring pace in the second half while severely hampering our own. I guess by that time I had pretty much given up.

After a couple of jams when I couldn’t get out of the pack, I started pointing the finger at my team and screaming about how they needed to step it up. After a couple of more jams that looked exactly the same, I started to turn the finger towards myself. I saw our win slipping further and further out of reach, and the rest of the team seemed to be utterly emotionless about it. I was getting more and more frustrated trying to figure out why.

Ever since I got stuck in a pack during the HaRD Knocks scrimmage against Rocky Mountain in February, I’ve been complaining about how I’m not the jammer I used to be. I’ve been making excuses about my worn-out skates, the fifteen pounds I can’t lose, and the blocking ability of my team.

Then I saw it. A sign blinked at me from above: “Don’t find fault; find a remedy.”

Now me, I’m not much for inspirational mumbo-jumbo, but to see that sign the morning after I just lost another bout…hmmm. Maybe I need to quit telling myself and anyone listening that I’m not a jammer anymore and start doing the off-skate workouts I need to get my speed and agility back. Maybe I need to get serious about those fifteen pounds, and quit drinking those damn Cokes every morning and eating that whole bag of Flat Earth chips at one sitting. Maybe I need to make my teammates hit each other over and over and over again until they get as excited as I am.

Maybe one bag of chips a week?

Here’s something cool I received in my email today:

Notice too that the morning receptionist is wishing us all a good evening.

I hope she’s not becoming listless from pulling a double. Hardeharhar.

I almost forgot to post April’s bout flyer, but then again, we (HRD) almost forgot to print them. Drama, drama, nobody wants to hear the derby drama. I have a feeling the bruised but brazen Brawlers will make a beautiful showing this bout. Have I ever mentioned how much I adore alliteration?

I started to post about how much more I love NASCAR now that I have actually been to a race, but that will have to wait (until I find my USB cable, not because the flyer is that much more important).

A coworker has pissed me off yet again. Over the past two years, I’ve been able to turn the other cheek, but it has been really hard these past few days. Partly because I might actually be out of here soon, and partly because I found something that might actually justify legal proceedings. Yesterday, I had to tell our HR guy (oh, excuse me, Director of Human Resources) to quit talking to me because his unethical ideas of how things should be around here and distorted notions of how things truly are around here were making me sick to my stomach. Really what I said was “this conversation is going nowhere” and thankfully he got the message without my having to kick him out of the library. And that’s all I have to say about that.

So today, some loser from admissions (yes, he is a loser because he earned a degree from this joke of a university; therefore, the only place he can find employment is said joke of a university) actually accused my part-timer of drinking on the job simply because she has repeatedly helped an alcoholic student when nobody else would. When I calmly stated that she doesn’t drink, he actually dropped his jaw. So I proceeded to inform him that she has been suffering from pancreatic cancer for the past year and a half, and we are lucky that she chose to continue working two jobs. Could that be the reason she seems a bit off sometimes? Hmm. I hope he feels like the dumb-ass he truly is and refrains from participating in the petty gossip that permeates this toxic workplace, at least for a few hours. Who am I kidding? I’m sure he ran off and told the first person he saw about his run-in with the librarian bitch (oh, excuse me, Director of Library Services Bitch).