So it’s cruel and unusual to lethally inject a man that shot his parents to death, but it’s politically correct to shoot some birds because they shit on some football fans? Maybe I’m stretching things here with human life vs. animal life, but come on…

I don’t normally impose my political mindset on others, so I apologize profusely for any offense my view of the death penalty may cause. Just thought it was interesting that these two stories would surface on the same day.

I may be the most cold-hearted beotch in the world, but sweet baby Jesus, if a person who may or may not be suffering from some form of communicable disease other than stupidity decides to spend five hours in a library that is only populated by the librarian and said person, please remind that person to pick up a freakin’ bag of cough drops on the way to the library. Otherwise, the librarian may not be liable for going postal.

Sometimes I wish I could be totally honest here. Actually, I wish I could be totally honest here all the time, but as a representative of the league, I must bite my tongue when I am tempted to share my humble opinions, even though there may be a couple of other people “sitting the bench” who would agree with my opinion of why Houston Roller Derby lost the championship game of the 2007 Governor’s Cup. Since I can’t be open and honest about league strategies, I’m going to focus on another disappointment that should be painfully obvious to everyone: attendance sucked!

I was expecting to skate in front of a couple of thousand people last night, from all over the state of Texas. I doubt we had half that number at the highest point. Why? Did we not market? We were lucky enough to be featured in the Chronicle’s Preview last Thursday. Did people stay home to watch the Emmys? Use your DVR! Or football? If my husband missed a whole day of obsessively checking his fantasy stats and lived, then anybody can do it. Was $20 too much to pay to see five gangs of raving lunatics beat each other to bloody pulps? I know people pay more than that to watch UFC on pay-per-view. What are we doing wrong?

We, the skaters and a few die-hard fans, go on and on about this being a sport…well, real sports have spectators, and unless we get a steady number of paying customers for every bout, then roller derby, at least in Houston, will always be just a recreational activity. Now tell my beaten and bruised body that I’m just participating in a recreational activity…it might never forgive you.

I’ve been trying to decide whether or not I like 103.7’s new format, Jack FM. Listening to San Antonio’s Jack this past weekend was awesome…I was river drunk, and they played Men at Work’s Be Good Johnny. I hadn’t heard that song in years! Then, I get back to the daily grind, and the Houston station plays the same two songs at the same time two days in a row, and I’m like…whoa, not so awesome. Déjà vu totally freaks me out. Now, I flip to it this morning at the same time I did Tuesday and Wednesday, and they are playing Squeeze’s Tempted. I’m tempted to tune all my pre-sets to 103.7, because I am so over that 80’s station that plays way too much 70’s and 90’s.

I added this blog to my feed reader awhile ago, and anyone who has been inside my house would instantly know why. I am fascinated by maps and globes, and I collect functional objects featuring maps or in the shape of globes, such as watches with map faces or a pencil sharpener globe. So I’m sure you’re all thinking, “Great! I know what to get Catazon for her birthday/Christmas/thanks for being wonderful”, but really, it’s not necessary, because I probably already have it. Now back to the Strange Map blog…

Yesterday, “A Texan’s Map of the United States” was posted. Those who know me well enough to know about my map and globe fetish also know that I’m very proud to be a Texan. I can vouch for the accuracy of this map, and I think I’ve even convinced a Yankee or two.

“I’ve been sent to spread the message, God blessed Texas!” ~ Little Texas

If you have been waiting to attend the perfect bout here in Houston, you have no excuse now. The best skaters of Houston Roller Derby will be taking on the best skaters from four other Texas leagues right here at the Verizon Wireless Theater. This is it, and I’m getting another shot at it, too.

If you already know what it’s all about and you can’t wait to see us, swing by the West Alabama Ice House this Saturday for a derby-style luau. Remember…HRD is mostly kid-friendly, and Catazon will be there with The Kitten for the early shifts.